i'm really into environmental protection and fair trade and fair treatment of people, peace and the potential of the human race to live in harmony and work together! We need to take care of and love this planet, because it created us =)
i also really like natural products and natural solutions to things, as long as they are fully organic and have no negative effects on the environment.
i really want to work with Greenpeace, CND, Oxfam, Amnesty and similar groups and charities in the future, and I have a lot of long and short term plans for helping... i just hope they work!
Outside of that, I like music, linux computing, web design, cycling, swimming, my pet rabbit Nozomi, console games, art, umm...
my life at the moment has been a bit tricky, and i'm going through a pretty rough patch and what is hopefully a transitional stage before things reach some kind of balance again. I'm holding on for now though, as I want to come out the other end and achieve my dreams.
and here's my first LJ entry as it probably says lots about me too... even though it's quite old now so not everything is accurate! =)
I've never really written one of these before (only diaries) so it may take me a little while to get into the swing of things... I just thought it might be nice to have somewhere to speak my mind and vent at the moment as things have been a little tough >.<
I don't really know where to begin though... maybe i'll tell you a few basic things about myself and then a bit about my life so far that might work =) Ok, I am 21 years old, male and currently living in Canterbury with friends (but only for a another 3 days or so) where I completed my first year of an Anthropology degree but had to drop out due to things I will probably explain in great detail later! I have brown messed up or spikey hair, blue eyes, and am usually smiling! =) and oo I'd better queue more songs on my media player... there we go! It's 2:45am and so I'm just listening to some soothing post-rock! My music taste is usually quite positive or political - I love artistic rock and post-rock like Sigur Ros, Explosions in the Sky and Radiohead, oriental and meditative music, ska, reggae and ska punk, african music, ambient, lots of world music in general, 60s psychedelia (hippy music basically!), ummm classical, light rock, *thinks* oh some computer game music too like NiGHTS into Dreams and Shenmue. The heaviest band I like is Rage Against the Machine as I love what they stood for and the power they suggest we as the people have if we choose to use it.
going back to me as a person (I digressed - is that how you spell it? - a little) I really love hot weather and sunshine, anything natural and beautiful, and I would really love to learn tai chi, meditation, surfing, lots of instruments adn umm similar things =) Oh, I spend too long in front of my pc at the moment using linux (am a bit of a linux nerd!) but my m8 and I are hard at work making an ambitious forum website to help people with long or short term problems like anxiety (which I kinda have), depression, OCD, relationship break-ups etc I also have a conspiracy theory website but it's also mostly under construction. I did a lot of research into conspiracy theories at one point and find it fascinating.
I quite like console games - mainly sega and nintendo - and playing my guitar too but I'd love to learn other instruments like the piano, ocarina and trombone (for ska!) in the future. and wow this song is amazing! it's "Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean" by Explosions in the Sky! Their best song is probably "Your Hand in Mine" though. Speaking of music I bumped into one of my top artists in canterbury high street today - Chang Gui Duo! He plays an ancient chinese instrument and I bought one of his CDs on my way to get a coach to see Sigur Ros once. They were amazing live by the way =D!
I digressed again ._. sorry. erm... what next? are you bored yet? =)
oh, I have a pet rabbit too called Nozomi (named after the main female character in Shenmue) but I may have to sell her or something soon as I'm moving around too much =( I don't want to sell her though I love my little bunny! I might ask someone to share her with me so I only get half the burden =)
I have had a really tough time over the last couple of years though which has made me really nervous and messed up - as a person I am usually a little nervous and uneasy but quite happy and confident (strange I know) but everything that happened over the last few years kinda turned me into a nervous wreck ='( my parents split, uni was hard, money was complicated, all my friends were left behind, i was finding it harder and harder to stay comfortable in lectures and seminars and then, just when I really wanted a hand up, my girlfriend who I loved more than anything and wanted to help so much (she had OCD and I wanted to do tai chi and things with her and help her it was so important to me i wanted to see her happy ._. ) went off with someone more local to her who is really horrible and I was really crushed. I still cry for no reason sometimes. I feel kinda trapped at the moment because everything that was familiar to me has gone =( When I was about 17 I was really into ska punk, and I have recently gotten back into it after all the more artistic music probably due to needing something to pick me up after splitting with beth and i saw that third wave ska (the wave that caused ska punk) has died out and younger peeps are into emo and stuff. All my m8s are getting into really really heavy stuff but I don't like it =( All of the ska punk bands I used to love like [spunge] and Less Than Jake are really struggling and the new stuff (heavy music and emo and what not) creeps me out. It all makes me feel really trapped and lost and alone. I just want to move to a hot country and surf and do tai chi and help the world with my websites and things.
I really want to make a difference and help people! This is going to sound weird but I feel like I have a real love for the human race despite all the bad stuff but I don't know why. That's why I did anthropology and not a computing course like I was going to. I want to know more about what I am and about human kind. Sorry if that sounds crazy ._. Sometimes I don't understand myself though. I cry so much sometimes because I think that maybe i'm just deluding myself with all of this positive stuff when maybe it's not true. I feel alone and like the world is pushing me down.
hehe when I have all this to say why didn't I start a journal earlier? lol
i guess I just didn't want to depend on it.
but it feels nice to get things out a bit =)
i don't know what it is about me... you know I already feel old even though I'm only 21? I feel like my life is over even though there are so many things i want to do - weird no? I guess it's because life is not as fun now as it used to be - I used to see lots of bands and have fun and life was really good but now i all stressed out >.< plus, in this part of the world it's like you are expected to have some serious office job by 22 but i don't wanna! i want to surf and chill out in a hot country and learn to meditate and grow dreadlocks! lol =D I just love hot climates and chilling out and enjoying life I could never have an office job in rainy england >.<
oh I never wrote about my favourite films and stuff, I meant to. They change a lot and my taste in films is probably not as developed as my taste in music as I haven't watched that many relatively speaking... and ugh I was making typos that's a bad sign I must be getting sleepy *yawns* i used to like horror and action films when I was younger but i don't know they're not really my thing anymore. Recently I watched Big Fish, Spirited Away, Russian Ark, The Horse Whisperer, Uzak, and this really good korean film I've forgotten the name of... umm Home something or something Home. It was good though - about a young boy from the city who goes to stay with his grandmother in this rural village and setting. It is a really sweet story and the boy slowly learns about the way life works in the village and gets to know his grandmother. It's one of those stories you don't forget. well... apart from the name. =) !
programmes I tend to watch more comedy ones than anything else but i'm not sure why really. I like Scrubs, Futurama, blackadder, red dwarf, simpsons, friends, morecambe and wise, monty python things like that =) I watch very little TV though to be honest so I'm sure I would get into all kinds of different things if I actually WATCHED it! lol =) wow and some funky spanish ska punk just came up on my media player as it ran out of queued post-rock. I would skip it but it's actually got a great beat I haven't heard it before. arrrriba! =D
I should probably end this now but I'm a lil lonely and it's keeping me company which is quite nice - strange how typing to yourself can keep you company isn't it? I mean, I could erase it by mistake and then no-one would ever read it! lol I'm actually writing this into a text editor as I don't have a net connection at the moment so I will paste it onto livejournal later! hehe this song is wacky! really cool sound though I like it. I'll play it again I think...
reggae is nice too I love the thought of chilling out on the beach with friends as the sun goes down strumming a guitar and looking out to sea - really beautiful and peaceful =) Tai chi at sunset would be wonderful as well I really hope I manage to move somewhere. Everyone here seems to be into pubs and clubs and things and it's just not my thaaaang! =) I don't want to go out at night I want to go out and have fun in the sun! I also don't like getting drunk that much - it's kinda ok but not exactly fulfilling. I have to admit I like JD and coke and some tropical fruit cocktails (not alcopops as such but just fruity alcoholic mixes). I used to really like beer and things more but I don't know I guess I don't feel at home in english culture. I don't want fish and chips I want a big mediterranean salad with feta cheese and olives =D! I am a 1/4 italian and a 1/4 maltese though so that probably explains it.
Ok, I will leave this here I think while there may actually be a few people still reading (but i doubt it) and try to get some sleep. It's like 20 to 4 in the morning! I'm glad I wrote this though I enjoyed it =)